Why Chasing It Keeps You Away From Getting It
I spent years chasing things.
It cost me my sleep, my sanity, and nearly my relationships.
It starts early.
The system teaches t you to grind.
Good grades reward memorization. Salary rewards ticking tasks off a list.
But life outside 9 to 5 doesn’t work that way.
There’s no step-by-step manual for building a cash cow business. No guide for finding—and keeping—your significant other.
When things get tough, most people quit. Others double down on chasing harder because that’s what the system taught them.
But this relentless pursuit can backfire. It disrupts your relationships, your health, and your sanity.
I learned this the hard way.
My vice was chasing better sleep. I wanted the “perfect” night’s sleep. So I tracked every metric—HRV, resting heart rate, sleep cycles and more.
The more I chased, the worse it got. I remember staring at my tracker’s glowing screen at 3 a.m., trying to decode my stats, my heart pounding with frustration.
The irony?
The stress I felt over sleep robbed me of the very rest I craved.
Sleep became a numbers game, not a natural state. I woke up and went to bed analysing my Whoop and Garmin data. It made me sick from stress. It strained my relationships with loved ones.
I framed success as an end, a destination. I created a negative relationship with the very thing I wanted.
It’s a paradox of life: the harder you look for something, the harder it is to find. But when you stop looking, what you’re seeking often finds you.
To recover, I had to reset my mind, and relationship with trackers.
Principles that helped me:
- See data as trends, not a judge for your day. Health matters more than any perfect score.
- Check trackers once a week. I disabled Morning reports on my Garmin and didn’t open Whoop. Now I use them again, but listening to my body is more important.
- Communicate with loved ones.
- It’s okay to sleep bad. When your body is tired, it will sleep no matter what.
Once I let go of the obsession, sleep came naturally within weeks. The metrics improved on their own. I even achieved 88% sleep performance in 2024 (detailed guide) with a more “balanced” life than Bryan Johnson. Disclaimer, I had my environment set up well already.
Relationships, however, took longer to repair.
Mario Quintana put it best: “Don’t waste your time chasing butterflies. Mend your garden, and the butterflies will come.”
So how do you mend your garden?
- Focus on the process, not the outcome. Identify the habits that serve your goals.
- Marry consistency. Divorce perfection.
- When the work feels good, the results take care of themselves.
Ask yourself: What’s the butterfly you’re chasing?
And more importantly, what’s the garden you need to mend?
Stop chasing. Start allowing.
Got insights or burning questions? Drop them below—I’d love to hear your take!
